Overheard by Jan Czekajewski

 

Mr. Smart and Mr. Bright Interview

 

Greetings Mr. Smart,  How did you find me in my provincial, Midwestern town, Columbus, Ohio.

It wasn’t easy I must admit, but my superiors in Institute of Global Democracy  (IGD), located in Washington, DC insisted that we have to know what average American thinks about our country politics, wars here and there, global democracy, elections of president , etc.. Therefore I am here talking to you, Mr.Bright.

 

I am guessing that you as chairmen of local Progressive People Party, you should know much what people in Mid-West thinks.

First , Mr.Smart I would like to know a few things thing about your name;  Was it a name you have inherited from your father, or it is an assumed name which you use for business or political purposes?

I must admit, originally my grandfather’s name was of central -European origin which  was impossible to pronounce, so my grandfather changed it to Rockefeller. But it was his mistake too. With such name you cannot get a loan from the bank. Everybody assumes that you are very rich, you do not need a loan. People from our community come to my grandpa asking him for a gift for some charitable or religious foundation. Therefore, I decided to change it.  The name Smart more represent truth about my superior intellect, which I am no ashamed. It works very well in political business as well.

I congratulate you Mr. Smart of making such decision, which coincidentally is very similar to my decision leading to shortening my name.

 

What was a name of your grandparents?

 

My Grandfather’s name was also central European and ended on letters like ski or sky. Nobody could pronounce it therefore he decided to change it to Rothschild, a name which was famous at his time in Europe. It did not work well  for my grandfather nor for me. When he try to join communist party  in USA  he was rejected as the enemy of the  people. When I tried to get a job in liberal paper like The Wall Street Journal or Washington Post, they rejected me as an impostor. I was close to the nervous breakdown.

So, I changed it to Bright, and Bright I am.

I am glad that we have established common roots and now we are real Americans, like millions of Smiths and Johns. 

 

Please tell me Mr. Smart when and why your Institute Global Democracy (IGD) was founded and how it operates?

 

At it’s very beginning it was founded by a group of philosophers who admired ideas of another thinker from the “old country” name Leon Trocky. As time went by, it became obvious that Leon was mistaken in some chapters of his philosophy. He became extremely progressive and, in his country, they called him a communist. Nevertheless, his principal idea of globalism was very fascinating to his American followers.  Therefore when they   founded the Institute they named it Institute (for) Global Democracy.  It is bipartisan institute with members coming from both Democratic and Republican Party. Occasionally we have members of independent opinions. For these entrance fees is just $1 Billion. Our goal is to promote globally American vision of liberal, progressive democracy, which one should not confuse with Democratic or Republican Party. We are just keeping ourselves above squabbling by local politicians for scraps of influence in states or counties. We have global perspective. We have a vision. Our spiritual father, Leon Trocky would be proud of us. It is his legacy which counts and which we follow.

I may ask you Mr.Smart, how successful you are you in achieving your global goals?

Our achievements are spectacular. Let’s look at the Vietnam War, which for us, youngsters look like antiquity. Our critics says that we lost this war with 45 thousands dead American soldiers, not mentioning about 2 million plus c Vietnamese civilians. You may ask if it was worthy to fight this war, which we supposedly lost? But now, 50 years later they in Vietnam have booming stock market in Hanoi and American companies, one after another are relocating its factories there because of lees expensive labor then in China. It is obviously our victory not a defeat. Our Pacific Fleet stops there from time to time for Rest & Recreation.

 

What you are thinking, Mr. Smart about our democratic intervention in Afghanistan? It looks like 17 years old and no end of it is seen on horizon.

 

This war may look on the surface like a Vietnam war. Let’s wait another 50 years and they will be making our sweatshirts and iPhones there, and continue sales of  natural diploids derived from fabulous, aromatic  poppy flowers.

Do you agree with me Mr. Bright?

 

I agree when in the same time I disagree, like this Nobel Laureate from Poland, who invented electric car, long time before Tesla. Lech Walesa his name.

Regarding war in Afghanistan  I have different opinion how to shorten this war. Mistake which number of our elected presidents did, is by using carpet bombing on the Taliban terrorists. There are too many caves and holes in these mountains in Afghanistan which cannot be penetrated by our bombs. Our military experts   found that these people of Asian origin have strange propensity to dying,  similar to Vietnamese. Strange it may be, but it is a real fact. Genetics may play a role in it?

I would suggest another method.  More gentle and humane. I would suggest merging our soldiers with Taliban and show them that our culture is far superior to theirs. Especially with woman. They claim that they can have multiple wives. We can show them that following our culture, they also could have the same, multiple wives but in serial fashion as practiced by us, Judea-Christians. Our serial marriage to multiple wives is achieved through the well-established divorce system. It also works better for women too, because in US woman can take each man to the “cleaners” and became very rich at the end of her life. They also live longer and have an ample time to spend money they acquired from divorced husbands. It is win-win situation for them.

To start with US Army in Afghanistan the soldiers should stop wearing helmets and replace them with turbans which are wore by terrorist from the Pushti Tribe. In case there will be shortage of turbans in US Army inventory, they could be replaced by towels made in Vietnam. Also American soldiers in transition period when they can acquire local dialects should stop using English language, and replace it with gestures. CIA should develop catalog of military gestures applicable to this purpose.  I also know that war in Afghanistan is not exclusively American war. It is war in which other NATO countries also participate. For example, Estonia, sent to Afghanistan only 2 soldiers. I would immediately request from our NATO allies that the  minimum contribution must be 4 soldiers.  I expect that if American president follows my advice we could shorten this war for 50%.

 

Mr. Bright, how do you asses current political struggle between different Democratic Party candidates for presidency, mainly Mr. Bernie S., who won the majority of  votes of young intellectuals in California. Is your party supporting Mr. Bernie S.?

 

Our Peoples Progressive Party supports Mr. Bernie S, but personally I have serious reservations about his commitments to our  progressive ideology. For example, he is not sufficiently clear about bank loans to the progressive people in this Great Country of USA. The name of the loan should be abolished and replaced by a new name such as “ progressive gift”. The word “ loan” implies that the money should be returned, which is impossible for most people. Stress caused by prospect of returning money drives people to suicides or fratricides. People kill each other in frustration. Please remember that our Founding Fathers promised all people in this great country to live in HAPPNESS. It is our fist obligation to follow US Constitution.

 

Mr. Bright, I have heard that there is a conflict within the PPP party about ways to achieve the final solution. 

 

That is true, there is a struggle between two factions within the party about future goals and methods. On one side we have a  moderate group of progressive members on another we  have progressively conservative members who would like take over the government by liberal revolution. If necessary, bloody. 

 

Mr. Bright, could you give me an idea what more conservative  members intend to implement once they won the power in democratic election?

 

Just after legitimate election by PPP party , party Central Comity  will mandate all people to wear red bands with a letters PPP on the left arm. Remnants of the population, which may survive revolution, must wear white bands, including children from age 4.  There is a plan also to create reeducation camps for such ignorant people who decline to be progressive and wear white armbands.

Personally, I am against of such drastic measures. We could achieve similar goal by just cutting their food rations by 50%. I suspect they will join our PPP party in no time, without beating and torture.

 

Will be Bernie still be President of this democratic, liberal country?

 

Yes, but only nominally. Real power will be in the hands of Central Comity of PPP party.

 

For how long?  

As long until he voluntarily resigns.

 

What happens if Bernie S. decides to live long and be a president.

 

We have a method to convince him, by cutting his food rations by 90%.

 

On another subject, which is less political but more scientific. Have you heard of recent invention by our computer scientists know as Quantum Computing, which allows crunching the numbers 100,000 faster than the strongest supercomputers we have?

 

Yeas Mr. Smart. I have heard about such brake in the computer science. It is very beneficial to our capitalistic, liberal economy. Federal Reserve has already trouble with slow speed of computers they have to create money from the thin air. Our current economy is on the brink. If Federal Reserve gets such Quantum Computers, then under our direction we can create 100,000 times more money than we are creating now. Problem I can foresee will be with enough supply of thin air. We may be able to import it from China, providing it will not be contaminated by Corona Viruses.

 

Thank you Mr. Bright. I can return to Washington, DC with the good news, that the Mid-West of USA is on right way to bright future.